How to Prepare for Divorce: A Step-by-Step Checklist for Women
If you're considering divorce or have already decided to end your marriage, you might be feeling overwhelmed.
That’s completely normal.
Divorce is one of the biggest transitions you’ll ever face — legally, financially, emotionally, and spiritually.
But here’s the truth: you can do this well.
With the right preparation, divorce doesn’t have to be messy, drawn-out, or traumatic. It can be an opportunity to reclaim your power, protect your peace, and start a new chapter on your terms.
This divorce preparation checklist will walk you step-by-step through how to prepare for divorce in a way that is organized, empowered, and holistic so you can move forward through the divorce process with clarity and confidence.
1. Get Emotionally Grounded Before You Make Major Decisions
Divorce often brings emotional intensity — grief, anger, fear, guilt, or even relief. Before taking action, give yourself space to:
Begin processing your emotions (through therapy, journaling, somatic work, or support groups)
Regulate your nervous system so you're not operating in fight-or-flight
Reflect on your intentions: What do you want your life to look like on the other side?
2. Create a Personal Safety & Privacy Plan (if needed)
If there’s any chance your partner could react with control, threats, or harm:
Make sure you have private access to your phone, email, and financial logins
Consider setting up a separate mailing address or P.O. box
Have a trusted friend, therapist, or attorney in the loop
3. Start Organizing Key Legal and Financial Documents
Gather (and make copies of) the following documents:
Tax returns (last 2–3 years)
Pay stubs and employment information
Bank statements (joint and separate)
Retirement and investment account statements
Mortgage, lease, or property records
Credit card statements
Insurance policies
Prenup or postnup (if applicable)
This step alone can save you thousands in legal fees later.
4. Begin an Asset + Debt Inventory
Start a spreadsheet or written log of:
All assets (real estate, cars, savings, investments, valuable items)
All debts (credit cards, loans, tax obligations)
Which are jointly held vs. individually owned. This helps you know what’s on the table and avoid surprises down the road.
5. Create a Post-Divorce Budget
Your financial life will change, but that doesn’t mean it has to collapse.
Start estimating your:
Future monthly income (based on job, support, etc.)
Projected expenses (housing, childcare, insurance, food, etc.)
Legal fees and one-time costs during the transition
Knowing your numbers will help you feel more in control.
6. Explore Your Divorce Process Options
You do not have to go straight to court. Learn about:
Mediation (collaborative + private)
Limited-scope representation (where you hire a lawyer for specific tasks)
Pro se divorce (representing yourself, with guidance)
Litigation (typically last resort for high-conflict or complex cases)
The best process is one that aligns with your goals, resources, and emotional safety.
(Read more about your options in my other blog posts.)
7. Choose the Right Support Team
You don’t need an army — just the right people:
A therapist or coach who understands divorce and emotional resilience
A lawyer (if needed) who supports your values and budget
A financial planner or advisor (especially if there are significant assets or debt)
Friends and family who respect your boundaries, not fan the flames
8. Prepare for Co-Parenting (if you have children)
Start documenting:
Your parenting values and what structure you want moving forward
Any concerns about safety, consistency, or communication
What kind of plan would feel fair, flexible, and in the child’s best interest
Begin gathering ideas for a parenting plan. This will be crucial if your divorce involves child custody.
9. Set Boundaries with Your Spouse
Even if things are “amicable,” you may need to:
Limit off-the-cuff conversations about the divorce
Move communication to written formats (email, co-parenting app, etc.)
Set expectations around finances, parenting, and household duties during the transition
Boundaries are important to protect your clarity, peace, and energy.
10. Take Care of Your Body and Spirit
This isn’t just a legal change, it’s a life change.
Support your well-being with:
Rest, nourishing food, movement
Somatic practices like breathwork, yoga, or meditation
Connecting with purpose — what kind of life are you building?
Healing happens in layers. Be gentle with yourself.
You Deserve to Feel Prepared, Not Powerless.
That’s why I created The First Steps Guide to a Healthy Divorce — a free downloadable resource that walks you through everything you need to begin this journey with clarity, structure, and confidence.
👉 Download the First Steps Guide here
And if you're still wondering whether you should get divorced, not just how — check out my Free Clarity Workshop here, where we walk through deep, soul-centered questions to help you get clear.
Divorce can be the most empowered decision of your life — when it’s done consciously.
You’re not just ending a chapter. You’re authoring what comes next.
Let’s make sure it starts from a place of strength.
